Family Logistics
At the beginning of the summer I read a really good book called “Large Family Logistics“. It is a treasure trove of tips and hints on how to organise a household so it runs easily and efficiently. It is geared towards larger families, but I honestly think that it was a mistake to title the book “Large Family” because I think that no matter the size of the family, a single college student, a family of three or thirteen or a retired couple, everyone can benefit from the organizational tips in this book. Before the baby was born I used a few of the management tool in the book and they helped very much, I felt like I was handling the day to day chores and a few of the extras, so when baby came I was on top of everything. Well, once baby had come that all fell apart and we were in full survival mode, especially with the onset of my postpartum depression/anxiety. However, three months later I a feeling strong and ready to do what I love the most: be a mother and homemaker.
I have decided to give myself three goals, or projects for this week.
1. Get up, get dressed, put on make-up and do my hair. Even if that means I am in a pony tail, with jeans and a t-shirt, I will be dressed for the day.
2. My bed will be made and the master bathroom cleaned. I would like to clarify that my bathroom is “cleaned” once a week, so it isn’t like I have a hoarders type bathroom issue going on, I am talking about making sure that brushes, combs, hair spray, etc are put away. My bedroom and bathroom are an area of the house that is easily neglected, they aren’t delegated to one of the children, and it is easy for me to just shut the door and forget, however I have found when that room is clean the whole house seems to come together easier.
3. I am going to get my Household Management binder in order and get a weekly and daily schedule in place. I have used household binders in the past and they have worked well. They were mostly used as a place to organize all the papers that would pass my fingers in a day, but this one is going to be different. I will use it for paper organization, but also as a place for budgets, schedules and menu planning. I plan on talking about weekly schedules later on this week.
It is now 1:00 in the afternoon, I am dressed, but still need to do my hair and make-up, and while my bed is made the bathroom needs to be picked up, it is laundry day so the binder is going to have to wait until tomorrow. Can I do these goals this week? I certinaly plan on it, but I am thinking a daily schedual would be helpful for keep myself on track!
Blessings
“I testify of the great blessing of children and of the happiness they will bring us in this life and in the eternities.”
Working Together
Every Monday night my family holds “Family Home Evening”. There are many different things that we do as a family for Family Night, sometimes it is very simple and short, sometimes longer and more elaborate. Sometimes we have a lesson, where Dadzoo and I instruct our children on subjects we feel need teaching, sometimes our children will teach a lesson, sometime we have a movie night, or we will read story books to each other, and sometimes we work on a family project that needs attention. It doesn’t really matter what we are doing, the only requirement is that we are together as a family and all distractions are put away.
A few weeks ago, for family night, we canned chili sauce. The particular recipe I use is fairly labor intensive, it takes two days to complete, the first day takes some time, for there is a good amount of vegetables that need chopping. Figuring that “many hands make light work” and that my older girls are more than capable of chopping peppers and onions, we dug in and made chili sauce for family night.
We were able to find jobs for everyone, and strangely, there was very little complaining, all the children seemed to enjoy the job that was given to them. I think they felt a sense of pride in being included in what was previously a Mom and Dad (Dadzoo always helps with chili sauce) job.
My littler ones helped gather the jars and load them in the dishwasher so they would be clean and ready to go the next morning. They were also able to help wash the vegetables before the older girls cut and seeded, and Dadzoo manned the food processor to grind everything up.
Why is it so important for children to learn to work? There is a wonderful article “Teaching Families the Value of Work and Responsibility” that is wonderful and had become my guide when trying to teach my children this important character trait. I would love to copy the whole thing here, it is THAT good, but a link will have to do instead. I would like to include a story from the article in case you don’t have the chance to read the whole thing:
Bishop Vaughn J. Featherstone told a story of how a lady taught a boy to work:
An aristocratic lady once hired a 13-year-old boy to take care of her yard and garden. After the first week she explained to him: “There are as many ways of mowing a lawn as there are people, and they may be worth anywhere from a penny to five dollars. Let’s say that a three-dollar job would be just what you have done today. … A five-dollar lawn is—well, it’s impossible, so we’ll forget about that.”
She allowed the boy to evaluate his work and decide how much she should pay him. She paid him two dollars for his first week’s effort. The boy was determined to earn four dollars the next week, but he did not do a job worth even three dollars. He worked carefully and looked for ways to make the yard better, but over the next few weeks he still could not pass the three-and-a-half dollar job. Finally, he resolved that instead of just trying for a four-dollar job, he would try to earn five dollars. He thought of all the ways he could make the yard more beautiful. He worked very hard all day long, taking out small amounts of time occasionally to rest. It took him longer than ever before, but by the time he was finished he was satisfied that he had done a job that was worth five dollars.
After carefully inspecting the yard, the lady decided that this boy had done the impossible. She praised him for his work and was glad to pay him the five dollars he deserved.
Many years later, when the boy was a grown man, he recalled how important that experience was to him: “‘Since that time, some 25 years ago, when I have felt myself at an end with nothing before me, suddenly, with the appearance of that word, “impossible,” I have experienced the unexpected lift, the leap inside me, and known that the only possible way lay through the very middle of impossible.’” (See Conference Report, Oct. 1973, 98; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, 84–86; quoted from Richard Thurman, “The Countess and the Impossible,” Reader’s Digest, June 1958.)
A few nights later I served the chili sauce with meat loaf for Sunday dinner, typically chili sauce is ignored by everyone excepting me, Dadzoo and our oldest daughter (who will eat anything), however this time everyone tried some, they were so excited to eat OUR chili sauce.
Service
Last week I lamented on facebook that I needed an extra night sleep. The weekend before, one by one, my family fell sick, with a slight cold. It was nothing major, Dadzoo missed a couple days of work and was up all night coughing which kept me up, along with the kids who needed tissues, water and some love during the night. By the time Sunday night came around I was exhausted, just in time to feel that little tickle at the back of my throat indicating that is was my turn to be sick, and then then baby woke up with a little fever, I was up again, all night. The next day wasn’t better, baby was sick and irritable, I spent most of the day holding and nursing her, by the time Tuesday came around I felt like the walking dead! Now I don’t tell this story to complain. I am a mother, this is what I do and I am happy to help my little ones, serving them is central to my life and I find a lot of satisfaction in that service.
But I was so tired, and I needed a break badly. However Tuesday was a busy day, I was going to be gone a good portion of the day at an appointment in town and by the time I got home my children would be arriving with homework and a myriad of activities. It was going to be one of those “survival” days, where you just do what needs to be done and forget about the extras (like sleep!).
As I was getting ready to leave the house for the day I got an e-mail from a good friend offering to bring dinner that night. I felt a little funny about it at first. It wasn’t like I was sick in bed and unable to make dinner for my family, why put this friend out just because I was a little tired? Then the thought came to me “let her serve”. I took a big gulp and told her that I would love dinner, and thanks.
Immediately my burdens felt lighter, I went about the day not having to think about dinner at all, it was wonderful. When I got home from my appointment and got my kids off to their various activities or busy with homework, I found that I had almost an hour with nothing to do. NOTHING to do…that never happens, especially at 4:30 in the afternoon, but I didn’t have to worry about making dinner that night so I was free, I was able to lay down and sleep for almost a full hour, when I woke I felt so refreshed and able to finish the evening tasks with renewed energy.
I am so grateful for a friend who didn’t suppress a prompting (and I know it was, our Heavenly Father is mindful of our struggles, however small they may seem) to serve. I know she will be blessed for her act of charity in my behalf.
As I thought over my dear friend’s act of service I wondered about myself. I thought back to the times when I was prompted to serve those around me, and I suppressed those thoughts and actions. How many e-mail haven’t been sent, visits made, cookies given, hearts soothed and dinners shared. Serving other spontaneously is very hard for me, the anxiety I struggle with has to do with people and social situations, for me to just take a dinner or make a phone call is extremely difficult, but I am finding that if I can push through the feelings of fear and anxiety (with help from my Heavenly Father) the feelings of love far surpass the feelings of fear. As I have been pondering, praying and searching I have become convinced that one of the ways I am going to defeat this postpartum depression/anxiety and become the person I am suppose to be will be through serving others.
