I am going to talk about my number 2 thing man needs, “A soft place to land”
We talk about making our home a Haven all the time. How we need to make it a refuge from the world for our children, but what about our husband?
He is out all day being bombarded with the things of the world, with stressors and temptations. He is exposed to bad language, bad ideas, bad jokes, women who dress provocatively and the coworkers who talk about the women. He has to deal with coworkers that are willing to throw him under a bus to get ahead. He has to try to climb corporate ladders. He has to keep up on his skills so he can stay employed. He is a slave to others demands and time schedules. He had bosses and their bosses to keep happy. Then there is the ever present fear of losing their job. Then he has the family stressors. Do we have enough money, why don’t we have enough money? How are the kids doing in school? Why do the kids fight all the time? Why is my wife unhappy all the time? The lawn needs to be mowed and 50 thousand light bulbs need to be changed. Then there are church obligations that need to be fulfilled.
When he gets home in the evening is it a soft place to land? Are we there with welcoming arms and a kiss? Or are we nagging at him the second his foot crosses the threshold? Do we meet him in sweats with our hair undone and no make-up on? Is the house neat and orderly, dinner on the table? Or are the kids fighting and nothing is planned for dinner?
Are you someone you would like to come home to at night?
Now I know this world isn’t perfect, and you aren’t going to have everything perfect when your husband gets home, but do you try? I have been trying to improve on this for a while now, but I never seemed to get it right. With 5 children under the age of 10 it seemed impossible!
I am a Dr Laura junkie; I listen to her show about everyday while I do my afternoon stuff. Lately she has been asking ladies if they are their husband girlfriends. That kind of baffled me at first. How in the world could I be his girlfriend, we have 5 kids, a house, two cars, a life! How can I be cute and coy when I am 70 pounds over weight and have a bunch of kids hanging on me? I asked my husband one night if he thought of me as his girlfriend. He kind of chuckled and said “I see you as my wife.” I pressed him further and he came to the same conclusion I had, there was too much in the way, we were married with kids. Basically he did not think of me as his girlfriend.
He did say “if I was single right now I would date you.”
Aha! There was my answer. What would I do if I was dating him right now? What if I was a widow (heaven forbid) with my 5 kids and Mike and I were dating. How would I act if he was coming to dinner at my house after work?
1. I would be dressed nice (nothing fancy, but not sweats) with my hair done
pretty and make-up on 
2. The house would be picked up. It wouldn’t be perfect, I have 5 kids, but it would look decent and the kids would help me do this
3. Dinner would be either done or close to done and the table would be the same way.
4. The TV would be off and some nice music would be playing
5. I would great him at the door with a hug, kiss and his favorite cold drink.
These 5 things aren’t hard to do. They take very little time, but some planning. I have been doing this for about 2 weeks now and the change in our home has been well worth the effort. I am his girlfriend again. Our house is calm with the TV off and the kids are thriving under a more structured evening. There have been many days that I am doing my hair at 4:30 and the kids and I are scrambling at 5:50 to pick up the house. There have been a few days that I didn’t follow all 5 steps, life happens, but as long as things are progressing and improving.
One side benefit, I have found the Mike has been a much happier person and more willing to help in the evenings. Last night he followed me around asking what he could do to help. He wanted to hang out and talk! Yes, a guy, wanted to talk! Who Knew!
