Momzoo is a Dummy!

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I am a dummy.

Hi, my name is Momzoo
and I am a dummy!

About three o’clock this morning I woke up out of a dead sleep remembering that my Drivers Licence had expired on Sunday, my birthday. “What is the big deal” you all think, “just fill out the forms and mail them in”…well….umm…..it should be that easy but….. You see Momzoo is also a little lazy and a bit of a procrastinator. Actually a huge procrastinator. I did get a letter in the mail about 3 months ago from the DMV, or who ever they are, stating that the name on my SSN and the name on my Drivers Licence didn’t match. Well, that is true, you see I never completely changed my name when I married Dadzoo 10 years ago. My SSN still has my maiden name Aimee Johnson, and my Drivers licence has my married name Aimee Johnson Kieffer.

I know, I know….I swear I was going to get around to it, but the last 10 years have been busy, and really the only time I remembered was at tax time when I filed under my maiden name. Really, I didn’t keep my maiden name because I wanted to make sure I really wanted Kieffer as a last name, I do, I truly want to take my husbands name, but like I said, I have been busy……

When I woke up I got on-line to see what I needed to do. On the web site it said that if your licence has lapsed that you needed to be prepared to do the written and driving test.

Come again?

Did that mean since my licence was lapsed for 4 days I needed to take the driving test again? Oh Crud! I was only 4 days late (and with the wrong name) and my driving record is pristine (OK, there was that one speeding ticket, but I swear I didn’t know I was going over the speed limit!)

So I am feeling a little sick again at this point. I am having visions of spending the morning at the Social Security office in Salt Lake and the DMV all afternoon trying to pass my tests. Thank goodness Dadzoo was working from home, then I could at least leave the kids at home. But what happens if I don’t pass? I can’t just drive myself home, heck, I really shouldn’t be driving myself there either….I don’t have a valid drivers licence

!

I was panicking, really starting to panic!

 

Then (trumpets sounding) Dadzoo to the rescue. Instead of fretting and worrying like I was doing he called the DMV…hmmmm…..good idea, and found out that since I was only 4 days late I didn’t need to take any test over again, since I had a good driving record (except for that one speeding ticket…ok…maybe it was two speeding tickets) and all I needed to do was show my Social Security card with my old name and my Drivers Licence with my new name on it.

That was it.

No biggy.

Good ‘ol Dadzoo taking charge, finding out the facts, solving problems while I was melting into a puddle having visions of never being able to drive again….

 

I like Dadzoo’s style.

Momzoo is SICK!!!

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I didn’t think that mommies ever got sick. Since I have been a Mommy these past 9 years I have learned that that isn’t true. What I have learned is that mommies do not get sick leave from their job!

I have been very fortunate that Dadzoo’s employment has made it easy for him to take a day off if I am sick. Most of the time, but I have to be really, really sick! However, Dadzoo is in the middle of a major project at work, a make-it-or-break-it kind of project, so he couldn’t’ stay home today. I told him yesterday when the baby was at his sickest that there wouldn’t be a soft place to land that night, he laughed, I am so grateful that I have a very understanding husband.

I am going to go now and give my 8 year old directions on starting something for dinner from the comfort of the couch (I am thinking chicken soup). Hopefully I will be back blogging something brilliant soon….or at least muttering about my life…..as exciting as that is.

****UPDATE*****
Dadzoo is doing a “work from home day”tomorrow (Thursday). I am relieved beyond words…

What a MAN needs part III

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He needs to feel like a King in his castle, the head of the family, the boss, the CEO, the hero, the provider.
This one is very hard for me. Very, very hard. I am definitely the dominate personality in our relationship, and I came from a family where my mother was the more dominate parent. (I am not saying that she was over bearing, or domineering). In my husbands family his mother was the more dominate also. As you can see it is easy for us to slip into those roles.
I tend to run head long into things without thinking about how my husband is going to feel about my plans. I start projects, make plans, make decisions and make goals without his in-put. That isn’t how it should be if he is the head of our home. That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be thinking of all that stuff, I just need to make sure I am asking him first before I commit to anything. This is something I am still working on, and something I will most likely always be working on.
I think it all comes down to respect.

Am I showing him respect?

Do I treat him with respect?

Do I talk to him respectfully?

Do I talk about him respectfully?

Do I treat his thoughts, feeling and actions with respect?

I would have to say that I do very little of all of these things. How can I expect my children to honor their father if I am not honoring him. Hmmmm, something to think about.
My husband is not a natural leader so I try to guide him a little in that area. We have family scripture study in the morning over breakfast. It was my idea, and I think I am primary in making it happen; however, he leads it. He does all the scripture reading, I want the girls to see him as our spiritual leader. (A little side note here, I will always cherish the gospel discussions that my family had with my Dad. I could listen to him for hours, and he was always willing to discuss with us any gospel topic, or question we had.) When we have family home evening (the important word is when!) he always leads the evening and gives the lesson.
So while I think that I can improve vastly in this area of respect, there are something I feel that I am doing right. Everything else is a work in progress!

What a MAN needs part II

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I am going to talk about my number 2 thing man needs, “A soft place to land”

We talk about making our home a Haven all the time. How we need to make it a refuge from the world for our children, but what about our husband?


He is out all day being bombarded with the things of the world, with stressors and temptations. He is exposed to bad language, bad ideas, bad jokes, women who dress provocatively and the coworkers who talk about the women. He has to deal with coworkers that are willing to throw him under a bus to get ahead. He has to try to climb corporate ladders. He has to keep up on his skills so he can stay employed. He is a slave to others demands and time schedules. He had bosses and their bosses to keep happy. Then there is the ever present fear of losing their job. Then he has the family stressors. Do we have enough money, why don’t we have enough money? How are the kids doing in school? Why do the kids fight all the time? Why is my wife unhappy all the time? The lawn needs to be mowed and 50 thousand light bulbs need to be changed. Then there are church obligations that need to be fulfilled.

When he gets home in the evening is it a soft place to land? Are we there with welcoming arms and a kiss? Or are we nagging at him the second his foot crosses the threshold? Do we meet him in sweats with our hair undone and no make-up on? Is the house neat and orderly, dinner on the table? Or are the kids fighting and nothing is planned for dinner?

Are you someone you would like to come home to at night?

Now I know this world isn’t perfect, and you aren’t going to have everything perfect when your husband gets home, but do you try? I have been trying to improve on this for a while now, but I never seemed to get it right. With 5 children under the age of 10 it seemed impossible!

I am a Dr Laura junkie; I listen to her show about everyday while I do my afternoon stuff. Lately she has been asking ladies if they are their husband girlfriends. That kind of baffled me at first. How in the world could I be his girlfriend, we have 5 kids, a house, two cars, a life! How can I be cute and coy when I am 70 pounds over weight and have a bunch of kids hanging on me? I asked my husband one night if he thought of me as his girlfriend. He kind of chuckled and said “I see you as my wife.” I pressed him further and he came to the same conclusion I had, there was too much in the way, we were married with kids. Basically he did not think of me as his girlfriend.

He did say “if I was single right now I would date you.”

Aha! There was my answer. What would I do if I was dating him right now? What if I was a widow (heaven forbid) with my 5 kids and Mike and I were dating. How would I act if he was coming to dinner at my house after work?

1. I would be dressed nice (nothing fancy, but not sweats) with my hair done
pretty and make-up on
2. The house would be picked up. It wouldn’t be perfect, I have 5 kids, but it would look decent and the kids would help me do this
3. Dinner would be either done or close to done and the table would be the same way.
4. The TV would be off and some nice music would be playing
5. I would great him at the door with a hug, kiss and his favorite cold drink.

These 5 things aren’t hard to do. They take very little time, but some planning. I have been doing this for about 2 weeks now and the change in our home has been well worth the effort. I am his girlfriend again. Our house is calm with the TV off and the kids are thriving under a more structured evening. There have been many days that I am doing my hair at 4:30 and the kids and I are scrambling at 5:50 to pick up the house. There have been a few days that I didn’t follow all 5 steps, life happens, but as long as things are progressing and improving.

One side benefit, I have found the Mike has been a much happier person and more willing to help in the evenings. Last night he followed me around asking what he could do to help. He wanted to hang out and talk! Yes, a guy, wanted to talk! Who Knew!