I am so sorry

Posted on February 25, 2009 by Momzoo

Life has been really complicated at my house since Christmas, and the last 3-4 weeks have been especially busy. The first two weeks of February I had my house painted (and yes there are pictures waiting to be downloaded!), my little brother left on his mission (lots of family farewell parties), sick kids, crashed computer and last but not least Dadzoo is having surgery on his foot tomorrow, a result of his fall at Christmas time (can you say MEDICAL BILLS!).

I haven’t been blogging or checking blogs like I usually do, I am hoping to get caught up in the next little while.

I LOVE this song

Posted on February 21, 2009 by Momzoo

I really love this song, I love everything about it. It paints such a pretty, simple picture of life. (excepting the Beer, since we don’t drink…) Somday Dadzoo and I are going to throw a summertime party like this with all our family and friends there, doesn’t it sound wonderful.

I Love my Baby Brother

Posted on February 17, 2009 by Momzoo

February was suppose to be the month of LOVE. I hasn’t really worked out. My laptop died and so I have only been able to check my blogs and e-mails sporadically.

However, I really needed to do this post, before tomorrow, before my little brother leaves for two years.

I love my baby brother.

I really, really do.

There are so many reasons I love him, more than just because he is my brother. He is so kind and willing to help. There are many times he has been there for me and my family. When Dadzoo was hurt and we were going to Doctor appointments and x-rays and MRI’s he came many times to watch my kids for me. One morning when we had an especially early appointment he even got the kids off to school! (He told me later that his respect and awe for mothers increased after that morning!)

When I was about to deliver my 5th baby I was huge and in a lot of pain. My brother came to my house and spent an entire Saturday helping me clean, he washed walls, doors and base boards. He helped me take all the decorations down and dust and wash everything. He even cleaned under the stove. He wouldn’t let me pay him, even though that was the original deal. I will never forget that day, he was happy and cheerful and willing to do the work. We had a great time.

Those are only two examples of times that he had been of service to me, there have been numerous weekends where he hauled rocks, weeded, mowed lawns, babysat or just hung out and had a good time.

I also love that we can talk, specifically about politics and history. Usually we are on the same page, but when there is a differing of opinion he has a way of disagreeing that isn’t confrontational, and he is always respectful of the opposing point of view. I am going to miss our talks. I keep warning him that he might get long letters from me…

I love that he loves his nieces and nephews. While most 18 years olds getting ready to leave for two years might be spending a lot of time with friends and girls, Chadd had been making a point to spend a lot of time with us, the family. Especially the kids. They all love “Chaddy” and are going to miss him too.

Tomorrow Chadd is off to serve the Lord and the good people of Michigan, we will have very limited contact with him in the next two years, we can send letters, e-mail once a week and on Mother’s Day and Christmas get to make a phone call. I am going to miss him so much, but I am proud that he is willing to put his life on hold and leave us to do what the Lord would have him do.

Facebook

Posted on February 13, 2009 by Momzoo

As I have been sitting here wasting time on Facebook (when there are dishes to wash and beds to be made) I am coming to the realisation that I really do have very few friends.

In high school I pretty much had one friend that I stuck around with most of the time, (usually some dumb boy) sure there were others and people I sat next to in class that I was friendly with, but nothing that would really be considered friendship.

There are varying reasons for that, I am very shy when getting to know a person, I felt awkward in social situations and was very afraid that I would say something stupid, especially when it came to the “popular” kids. I wasn’t especially smart or beautiful or talented, I was pretty run-of-the-mill kind of gal. Being run-of-the-mill is ok, those are the people that make the world run. High school graduation was very freeing for me.

When I stared on facebook I just did it because Dadzoo thought it would be fun and he wanted me to play the games with him, but as I have been going along I have become drawn to finding people. I will find them, and look at their Friends, and see all these people I know, but I hardly ever add them, it is the old insecurity thing coming back. Sometimes it will take a couple of weeks before I gather the courage to ask someone to be my friend, then I am sure they won’t accept.

I wonder when I look at people profiles how different I would be if I had been more out going and friendly. I wonder if I was to go back and do it all over again, would I do things differently? I honestly don’t know. I still get very nervous in social situations and I am afraid I will do or say stupid things. I am not especially smart or pretty and my interests border on the weird.

I sit here in my computer and look at all these people, people that I thought I would never encounter again and I feel like I am 17 again (wish I had that body!) sitting in class looking out over the “popular” and “pretty” and saying to myself “they wouldn’t talk to me.” Funny how some things never change.