Bonding and Apple Sauce

 

I haven’t done much canning the past two autumn seasons.  I was very busy with two little baby girls, and since I had plenty in storage I figured I could give myself a little break.

Until….

I had a good friend offer me a big box of apples for a very low price, and I just had to have them.  They were kind of small, with some worms and getting soft, so not very good for just eating.  They were screaming to be made into apple sauce and canned.

I decided to grant their request.

Here is where the bonding part comes in.  In the past I figured my kids were too young to help me can, and I would usually shoo them out of the kitchen so I could get into the “mode” and can like a crazy person.  This time I did things different.  I got my two oldest involved, they are 13 and 12, old enough to learn how to can and old enough to help.  After the initial complaining, we settled into a very nice afternoon cutting and cooking apples.  We didn’t get a lot done, just 6 quarts for this round, but I will always remember the first time  my girls and I chatted away the afternoon canning.

Musical Family?

I didn’t grow up in a musical family.  When I was about 12 years old my family obtained a hand-me-down piano from my grandparents and ended up taking about one year worth of piano lessons, which I hated, mostly because I was on the same level as the eight year olds around me.  My other siblings took some piano, but it was never really something my parents insisted on.  Despite my lack of musical training I have always loved music and as I got older I regretted not sticking to piano and learning how to play.  I decided that my children would be musically trained, that was something that was going to be important in our family.

About five years ago Dadzoo’s parents offered to give us their piano and I jumped at the chance and promptly enrolled our oldest in lessons.  As of now our four oldest are taking piano lessons, and I have been firm on insisting  on a fair level of proficiency before I will allow them to quit, despite the fights, the crying and the questioning.  I worry a lot about those lessons, am I supervising enough, making sure they are doing their lessons properly, are my kids learning, am I forcing them to do something they don’t really have talent for?  I am terrible at recitals, I compare their progress (in my mind, never to them) to other children their ages.  I wonder, will they ever be proficient?

Well this week our family jumped into the realm known as “band”.  Yes, my two oldest joined the middle school band and have now added another instrument to their musical training (I won’t let them quit piano just yet).  Today as I was walking past, what has become our “music” corner in the living room, it occurred to me that we just might be a musical family, just maybe.

Interesting.

Our music corner

Punk #6 is always very interested when the older girls play the piano. She either joins them by pounding on the keys, or sits on the floor and "dances" to the music.

It is looking as if she will be equally interested in the other instruments as they come into the house.

 

Service Tree

As the years have gone by I have become increasingly disillusioned with Christmas.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of Christmas, a day set aside to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer.  I also love the idea of commemorating his birth by giving gifts to those we love, because Christ gave us many gifts, the greatest being eternal life.  It seems to me (and I am talking in general here, not about a specific person) that increasingly we are giving lip service to the idea of gift giving and caring for the poor on Christmas and we are focusing more and more on GETTING.  My family is no exception.  I find that my children talk more of gifts and Santa and what they want from Santa than Christ and His birth and His gifts.  I blame myself, I have created this, I love having an excuse to be extravagant in my gift giving (via Santa) with my children.  I over the years have focused on the gifts more than true service and Christ centered worship.

Last Christmas, instead of the kids giving gifts to each other we had service ornaments.  Each child drew a name and for the month of December they were to do service for the person they drew and add a special ornament to the tree every time a service was preformed.  It went ok, especially for the first few days, they it kind of petered out and was forgotten.

So this year I thought I would mix it up a little. 

We now have a service tree. 

 

(this is a terrible picture, the lighting in my living room is not good)

 

On slips of paper I wrote down the name of a person, or a type of person (example: teacher, neighbor, friend) and put them all in an envelope.  Every morning at devotional we draw a slip and for that day we all do a service for that particular person.  I am thinking this will help us stay focused and do more service.  Once that service had been done, and approved by a parent, an ornament is added to the tree.

I hope this helps my children become more service oriented.

As for how we celebrate Christmas, I think things are going to change around here in the next few years.  I would like Christmas to become a Holy day of worship.  First to go just might be Santa, I wonder why I need some stand in mythical man to give my children gifts?  I know a lot of people say he (Santa) represents Christ, to that I ask: why do we need some stand in mythical man for Christ when we have the real thing?

 

How to you center your family on Christ during the Christmas season?

Walking in Truth

My camera has been taken hostage, to the very ends of the earth in fact, so I have had to put  a couple of scheduled posts on hold until I have it in my hot little hands once more.  So until that day I thought I would share some things I have been thinking about lately. 

A couple of weeks ago I watched a talk give by Bruce Chadwick and Brent Top at BYU’s annual Women’s Conference in 2004.  The title of the talk is “I Have No Greater Joy Than To Hear That My Children Walk in Truth.”  They did a very exhaustive study on teenagers and their thoughts and feelings on religion, and in this talk they presented their finds and offered suggestions to parents on how we can help our teenagers stay true.  If you would like to see the whole talk you can go HERE.

They gave a few suggestions, that I would like to share:

1. Build a Household of Faith
     -Teach the gospel,
      (Have Family Home Evening, family prayers and family scripture study)
     -Encourage youth to have spiritual experiences and get their own testimony
     -Practice what you preach.

2.Render Daily Outpourings of Love
     -Time (quantity equals quality)
     -Words (tell them you love them, daily)
     -Hugs (physical affection)

3. Establish fair, but firm boundaries
     -Keep your eyes wide open, use wisdom and be interested
      Talk with your children
      Check with others (teachers, neighbors, family)
      watch for warning signs
     -If you love them discipline them
       Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
      Lower your voice, don’t yell, people stop listening once the yelling starts.

4. Counsel, but don’t control.
     -Don’t use guilt induction or love withdrawal.
     -Show respect for your children’s opinions and ideas
       (even if you don’t agree, be respectful and listen).
     -Allow your children to be their own person.

5. Don’t give up and don’t lose hope.
     -2 Kings 6:16

While this talk was geared towards raising teenagers, I think these principles should be applied all children, no matter the age.  If we are applying these principles when our children are small, I think the transition into the teenage years will be smoother because we have already established a loving, Christ centered environment, where our children feel free to mature into Chirst centered adults.

Working Together

Every Monday night my family holds “Family Home Evening”.  There are many different things that we do as a family for Family Night, sometimes it is very simple and short, sometimes longer and more elaborate.  Sometimes we have a lesson, where Dadzoo and I instruct our children on subjects we feel need teaching, sometimes our children will teach a lesson, sometime we have a movie night, or we will read story books to each other, and sometimes we work on a family project that needs attention.  It doesn’t really matter what we are doing, the only requirement is that we are together as a family and all distractions are put away.
 
A few weeks ago, for family night, we canned chili sauce.  The particular recipe I use is fairly labor intensive, it takes two days to complete, the first day takes some time, for there is a good amount of vegetables that need chopping.  Figuring that “many hands make light work” and that my older girls are more than capable of chopping peppers and onions, we dug in and made chili sauce for family night.

 We were able to find jobs for everyone, and strangely, there was very little complaining, all the children seemed to enjoy the job that was given to them.  I think they felt a sense of pride in being included in what was previously a Mom and Dad (Dadzoo always helps with chili sauce) job.

 

My littler ones helped gather the jars and load them in the dishwasher so they would be clean and ready to go the next morning.  They were also able to help wash the vegetables before the older girls cut and seeded, and Dadzoo manned the food processor to grind everything up.

 Why is it so important for children to learn to work?  There is a wonderful article “Teaching Families the Value of Work and Responsibility” that is wonderful and had become my guide when trying to teach my children this important character trait.   I would love to copy the whole thing here, it is THAT good, but a link will have to do instead.  I would like to include a story from the article in case you don’t have the chance to read the whole thing:

Bishop Vaughn J. Featherstone told a story of how a lady taught a boy to work:

An aristocratic lady once hired a 13-year-old boy to take care of her yard and garden. After the first week she explained to him: “There are as many ways of mowing a lawn as there are people, and they may be worth anywhere from a penny to five dollars. Let’s say that a three-dollar job would be just what you have done today. … A five-dollar lawn is—well, it’s impossible, so we’ll forget about that.”

She allowed the boy to evaluate his work and decide how much she should pay him. She paid him two dollars for his first week’s effort. The boy was determined to earn four dollars the next week, but he did not do a job worth even three dollars. He worked carefully and looked for ways to make the yard better, but over the next few weeks he still could not pass the three-and-a-half dollar job. Finally, he resolved that instead of just trying for a four-dollar job, he would try to earn five dollars. He thought of all the ways he could make the yard more beautiful. He worked very hard all day long, taking out small amounts of time occasionally to rest. It took him longer than ever before, but by the time he was finished he was satisfied that he had done a job that was worth five dollars.

After carefully inspecting the yard, the lady decided that this boy had done the impossible. She praised him for his work and was glad to pay him the five dollars he deserved.

Many years later, when the boy was a grown man, he recalled how important that experience was to him: “‘Since that time, some 25 years ago, when I have felt myself at an end with nothing before me, suddenly, with the appearance of that word, “impossible,” I have experienced the unexpected lift, the leap inside me, and known that the only possible way lay through the very middle of impossible.’” (See Conference Report, Oct. 1973, 98; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, 84–86; quoted from Richard Thurman, “The Countess and the Impossible,” Reader’s Digest, June 1958.)

 A few nights later I served the chili sauce with meat loaf for Sunday dinner, typically chili sauce is ignored by everyone excepting me, Dadzoo and our oldest daughter (who will eat anything), however this time everyone tried some, they were so excited to eat OUR chili sauce.