It’s been a long time, way too long. I would like to blame the events of last fall on my long absence, but I can’t, in all honesty, do that. Maybe it had something to do with it, something about a tragedy makes a person think and evaluate, for better or worse. Mostly though felt like I had nothing to say anymore, one can only talk about gardening and chickens and canning so much before things get boring and monotonous. Besides there are a thousand blogs out there on the same subject with better writers and photographers. I guess you could say my self confidence took a major nose dive! On top of that this year has been the most frustrating gardening year of my entire life. I had so many plans and dreams, and they all pretty much feel flat on their faces, a combination of poor soil, cool temps and a sick me made for a bad season and, I’m anticipating, a disappointing harvest, which means if I want to can much this year I’m buying produce, which defeats the whole “self sufficient” idea.
Yeah, I’m feeling pretty down about my efforts this year.
On a happier note, notice how I mention being sick, well that is because I’m expecting again. Due the first of January, and this has been a wonderfully horrible pregnancy. Wonderful because the sickness means my hormones are working as usual, horrible because I have been sick and spending a good part of my day laying down, and that is hard on everybody. We did find out two weeks ago that we are having a bouncing baby boy, and so far he looks healthy. With our little angel we had a healthy ultrasound at sixteen weeks too, but something happened between 16 and 20 weeks when we lost him. To say the last few weeks have been a tad anxious would be an understatment. I’m fortunate though, to be under the care of a compassionate midwife who graciously lent me the use of her dopplar and every night before bed I find my baby boy’s heart beat and my mothers heart rests a little easier.